Don't be a hero

One time, on my way to play with an elephant I had an allergic reaction to a deer in the form of hives on my face and neck. One time, Cambodians rubbed Tiger Balm all over my hives to heal me. Actually...four times.

I've allllllways wanted to play with elephants. It's actually kind of amazing that I spent almost 6 months in southeast Asia without seeing any elephants. My roommate, Melissa, and I have been talking about elephants since we arrived in Cambodia in September. FINE-NUH-LY we made the trip by jeep to a wildlife rescue center about 90 minutes outside of the city to see ourselves some wildlife. 

Our trip started with some really big deer. Everyone was petting the deer. However, because I'm from central Austin where deer are so plentiful it's more exciting to see a squirrel, I wasn't going to touch this mammoth of a creature. When people stopped loving on it, the monster started bowing its head and touching it's antlers to a girl with a camera that could cover my rent for the next 12 months. So naturally, I started petting it to calm it down to help her out. DON'T BE A HERO CHRISTINA. Approximately 47 seconds later I started breaking out in hives all over my face, neck, and chest. No one had benadryl, but oh good we had liquid Tiger Balm.



The first time they applied Tiger Balm, it burned, but it was preferable to the burning hives. The second time, it hurt more, but was tolerable. The third time, my eyes began to water. The fourth time tiger balm was rubbed on my face, I couldn't hold back tears. It felt like someone lit my face on fire. In the middle of the Sahara desert. While pouring shampoo in my eyes. And drinking clorox.

The remedy for that? Rub the coldest thing I could get my hands on all over my face. A can of beer from a local vendor. After about an hour of pain, the hives went down, and I continued on my tour as if nothing happened. I did, however, lose almost all my dignity as I sat on a wooden table, teary eyed, rubbing a can of beer on my face.  Now, I really wish I had a picture of that.

Once fully recovered, I hung out with tigers, lions, leopards, sun bears, snakes, monkeys (not too exciting...you see them in the city), and Lucy the elephant.

I didn't quite keep my composure while interacting with Lucy the elephant...which has subsequently provided some pretty funny photos.

Lessons learned: Don't touch deer. Don't be a vet. Don't be a hero. 

Ridin' Dirty

Navigating the roads in Cambodia is all about finding a delicate balance between cautious-this-is-my-first-day-of-driving-school defensive driving, and I-was-Evel-Knievel-in-a-former-life-everybody-move-over aggression. If you aren't careful, you'll get run over. Literally. If you aren't aggressive, you won't get anywhere. Literally.

Things I've seen while biking in the past week:
-Cows getting in the way of traffic

-Two men transporting a fridge on a moto

-A 10 passenger van full of pineapples. Completely full. Literally, I couldn't see in any of the windows. Or the driver of the van, for that matter.

-A monkey running across telephone wire above me. Like a squirrel. 

-4 adults crammed onto one motorbike

-A 10 or 11 year old child operating a moto. 

-A mother nursing her newborn on the back of the fathers motorbike 

-People getting bag snatched 

Things I haven't seen while biking in the past week:

-Traffic signals. They took out signals on one of the busiest roads in the city.

-People obeying the few traffic signals that do exist. 

-Helmets being used 

-The moto that nicked my arm with their side mirror while zooming past. 

-Turn signals being used

-The multiple cars/motos/buses that have almost hit me 

-Any indication that the concept "yield" exists

Here are some photos of what the traffic and crazy vehicles that occupy the road here.

Just a casual commute to work with 98 other people on a truck with standing room only. If you look closely at the moto closest to the camera, there is a family of 4 piled on. The youngest is half standing/half squatting in front of the father who is driving...without a helmet. This is the Cambodian car seat. 

Chillin' on some plant life. 

A moto with 50 kites attached. 

A bike with 50 balloons attached. I've actually been bopped in the head multiple times by balloons attached to bikes. 

A bike with a small convenient store attached. 

Casual traffic in front of the royal palace. Blocks away from my apartment. 

Today, while driving in the right lane of a 3 lane road, luckily, I saw the car attempting to turn right from the left lane. This was annoying. Unfortunately, because I was paying attention to the car attempting to turn right from the left lane 5 feet before his turn came, I neglected the car driving the WRONG way down the road straight at me in my right lane. This was more annoying. I successfully avoided both cars. Narrowly. Somehow, I'm still alive.