This is an email I sent to over 100 people around Christmas time. I think it only made it to a handful of people. Not sure if I should blame the Cambodian internet or the fact that I use AOL....
December 24, 2012
Hello from Cambodia!
This is my version of a Christmas card. Instead of distributing a picture of me in a Christmas sweater (because who wears sweaters in Cambodia?), you are receiving a reflection on my 15 weeks so far living in Southeast Asia. This country is different than anything I’ve ever experienced (duh, Christina). Cambodian people are spectacular, the weather is almost unbearable, and the experience is something I never could have prepared myself for. The email and evaluations you are about to read are far from many you will hear from backpackers who pass through or preteens here on week long youth group trips. I've far from experienced all of Cambodia, but here is a taste of my life and evaluations for the past 3 ½ months in a third world country. I've kept a blog (http://cambodianchris.blogspot.com) if you want to see some pictures and other stories I've posted while I've been here.
Cambodia is a rapidly developing country. Developing…but far from developed. It is not for the faint of heart. This is not a ploy for you to pity me or scare you from venturing over here, but an honest assessment: it’s a real challenge here. The people I've encountered here are…interesting. I have had an unimaginably difficult time negotiating where I stand in the expat community here. There are 5,000 expats living in Phnom Penh. Many of these are who we refer to as “sexpats”, people who have come to Cambodia to engage in, and from what it looks like, sustain the booming sex industry. It’s easy to identify a sexpat. They are middle aged to…well…old men, who walk with a leering, undeserved, confidence with a beautiful Cambodian woman on their arm. This shatters my heart into a million pieces while simultaneously triggering my gag reflex. I’ve been on a constant search for other teachers like me: half Chinese volleyball playing girls with a deep love for ice cream and multicolored windbreakers. However, my search has surrendered no results. I’ve widened my search to young adults who are attempting to navigate their way through the transition to adult life, while barely remaining financially stable from our meager Cambodian income. Unfortunately, this search has turned out to be only slightly better than the previous one. PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE HARD TO FIND!
It’s never really been hard for me to make friends in the US. Between captaining volleyball teams and 4 years in my sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha, finding friends has been quite easy. I am constantly surrounded by amazing people when I’m home. That is no coincidence (I have excellent taste). I LOVE being in groups and socializing. I CRAVE constant human interaction and ALWAYS want company. Knowing this about myself, 4 years ago I added to my bucket list (a list of things to do before I die...yes I have one…yes I’m serious…yes I love lists) “move to a place where I don’t know anyone”. Holy Cow 18 year old Christina what were you thinking?! 22 year old Christina took it further and changed it to “move to a country where I don’t know anyone”. Okay seriously…who does this?! I guess I wanted a challenge. Wellp. I found one.
Finding a niche here has been HARD. Finding friends has been HARD. Navigating my way through typical young adult tribulations here has been HARD. People say they change over here. People say that with any extended trip abroad. Everyone says “I’m sure you’ve changed” blah blah blah. Have I? Maybe. I’m not sure. I do know that I have definitely grown up. I’m maturing and attempting to pilot my way into adult life, much the same as my counterparts/best friends in the US. At the same time, so so so different. Not harder, or easier…but different.
Ready for good things? I feel like I’ve finally got the hang of life over here. I’ll never fully get how this country ticks, how everyone can possibly be so relaxed, how the traffic somehow continues to flow, or how I possibly safely transport myself via bike in this traffic. Somehow, not every day feels like a near death adventure anymore. Finally it just feels like life.
My students are INCREDIBLE. My little kindergarteners are hilarious. They bounce back and forth speaking Khmer, Chinese and English. The best thing they say is “5…6…7...A...9…10…elephant...” ummm now that I told y’all that I realize maybe we should practice counting more. Sometimes I feel like my kindergarten job is glorified babysitting, but my amazing TA makes everything much better. She is 29 and married with a child, and she’s one of my best friends over here. She feels like my big sister, Dre, and has helped me understand this country more than I ever could have on my own. My college students are AWESOME (I just taught them that word last week). Honestly, I feel like teaching my college course makes teaching here worth it. I've formed relationships with my students, they have dreams and goals for the future, and I am helping them get there by teaching them English. I’m fairly certain they think I’m a true basket case, and I’m also pretty sure they think I’m 18 years old. On the first day of class I fell out of my chair, and the second week I wrote on our dry erase board with permanent marker. Classic.
An amazing thing that I've observed about Cambodian people, is the balance they've found between maintaining a good work ethic, and the ability to relax 24/7. I've seen some of the hardest working people in this country, and I've also seen some of the chillest people in this country. It’s always impressive, and sometimes aggravating.
It feels like Cambodia realizes the work that is left after their recent dark days of genocide, but that hasn't produced a rushed or panicked feeling like many would assume. Rather, it seems that they accept where they are, and they have a reasonable timeline and goals for their crusade to progress. That being said, the government is extremely corrupt and paying off cops is as nonchalant as paying for a loaf of bread (I did it yesterday). People have got plenty of horrible things to say about the Cambodian government, and believe me I could give you a laundry list. However, I think people sometimes forget how recently it was that this country had a massive genocide under Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. If we’re comparing how this country is being run now to how it was before, I think we don’t even need to have this discussion. Cambodia’s progress is undeniable and encouraging for me to see. The food isn't especially great, the weather is especially sucky, the infrastructure is almost nonexistent, but it’s the Cambodian people who make this country worth a second glance. People here are very unapologetic about Cambodia. This is helpful when I get frustrated with minor things here. It is what it is. RELAX CHRISTINA.
I've spent many days feeling lonely as I negotiate the difference between being alone and loneliness. Luckily, this has also given me time to observe and think (and write this staggeringly long email). I’m happy over here, but I’m also ready to begin my second adventure. In 2 months I’m moving to China and I couldn't be more thrilled! I’m moving to Yinchuan, which is in the far north of China, close-ish to Mongolia. I've signed a six month contract which begins March 1. After that? Who knows. I don’t even know what country I’ll be in. I’m determined to make my way to Tibet, Nepal, and India…eventually. I have no idea where my final destination is, but I am so pleased with the direction my life is going. Until then, I’ll do my best to maintain this nomadic lifestyle.
I hope everyone is having a fabulous holiday! I wish I could be with my family and best friends delivering my signature Christmas cookies. Instead, I’m eating rice and breaking a sweat on Christmas Eve as I type this email. If you've somehow read this entire email you deserve a cookie (hey can you mail me one of those as well?!). Read my blog! http://cambodianchris.blogspot.com if you don’t read it, I understand…just don’t tell me you’re not reading it. I’d love to hear from y’all and I apologize for not keeping in better contact with many of you. I’d like to hear what is going on in your life after making you read so many of my words about me.
Merry Christmas! LYMI, peace n’ blessingz, SB < 3, ZLAM, and any other slang/acronym/youtube quote you can think of to say I love and miss y’all. Love you mama and daddy!
Christina
